How to Have a Positive Birth Experience
How it all started…
I had my first baby back in 2018. I had a relatively easy pregnancy and wasn’t particularly fearful of birth. I had this mentality that women have been giving birth for thousands of years, and that everything would be okay. I would just “go with the flow,” and the midwife would make sure that everything was fine.
So I didn’t make a birth plan. I didn’t learn about my options. I didn’t prepare my mind or body.
And I actually ended up having quite a negative experience of birth.
Why?
What I hadn’t appreciated was that while women have indeed been giving birth for thousands of years, they haven’t been giving birth in the modern healthcare system for thousands of years. In fact, giving birth in the presence of healthcare professionals is actually a relatively recent thing.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I absolutely love that we have access to life-saving medical care when it’s needed (and there are times when it’s absolutely needed!) But my first birth felt disempowering. And to this day I am about 90% sure that the negative experiences that happened on that journey, were down to my naivety and lack of preparation.
I didn’t know what was happening to my body.
I felt disconnected from the process.
I felt that decisions were being made for me that I didn’t fully understand.
I had no tools to manage the sensations.
My husband had no idea how to support me.
I walked away from that experience with trauma that took me a long time to process. I genuinely thought that my body had failed at birth. I thought I had failed at birth.
When I fell pregnant again, I knew things had to be different. I started researching Hypnobirthing. I read books, listened to relaxation tracks, and learned everything I could about how birth works.
I prepared.
I began to trust my body again.
I began to trust birth again.
And it changed everything.
My second birth in 2022 was at home, in my living room. It was calm, powerful, and completely different from my first. I felt in control. I felt informed. I felt strong. I felt like a freaking GODDESS.
That’s why I’m so passionate about helping women prepare for a positive birth experience. It’s not purely about luck. It’s mostly about preparation.
And just to be clear, I’m not preachy about home birth. Yes, I think it’s a great option that more women should consider. But I appreciate that it’s not for everybody.
What I’m really passionate about is helping women learn techniques and gain knowledge that will help them have a positive birth experience, whatever path their journey takes.
Whether it’s a home birth, an induction, a forceps delivery, a c-section, or a free birth in the woods by the light of the full moon—you deserve to come away from your birth experience feeling empowered and excited to tell your birth story!
Because ultimately, it’s the way you feel about your birth that has the biggest and longest-lasting impact.
Here is some of my best advice for any woman who is currently pregnant and wanting to prepare for a positive birth experience.
1. Learn What Happens to Your Body During Birth
Most of us grow up with a lot of misconceptions about birth. Films and TV often show it as a medical emergency—rushed, panicked, and out of control. But that’s not the reality for most births.
Birth is actually a very simple, physiological process that goes perfectly well the majority of the time.
When you understand what actually happens to your body during labour, it changes everything.
Here’s the very basics of what you need to know:
Your uterus is a muscle. During labour, it contracts and releases to move your baby down. This is known as a “contraction.”
Hormones like oxytocin and endorphins help manage pain and keep labour progressing.
Adrenaline (the stress hormone) can stall labour if you feel afraid or tense.
When you learn how your body is designed to work with you—not against you—you start to build trust in the process. You can create a calm, supportive birth environment that gives your body what it needs for labour to unfold naturally.
2. Learn About Your Rights and Create a Birth Plan
A birth plan isn’t just a wish list. It’s a chance to get informed.
To make empowered decisions, you need to know:
Where you want to give birth—home, birth centre, or hospital
What pain relief options are available
What routine procedures are offered and whether you want them
Who you want with you during birth
How you want your baby to be cared for right after birth
Researching these things ahead of time and writing them down in your birth plan means that when you’re offered them in the moment, you already know exactly what your answer is going to be.
I can tell you from experience—there is nothing worse than trying to make a decision when you’re actually in labour.
3. Learn Calming Hypnobirthing Techniques
Hypnobirthing is a set of tools to help you stay calm, focused, and in control during labour. It also helps reduce fears about birth before the big day arrives.
Local, in-person Hypnobirthing courses are becoming more and more popular all over the UK as well as online courses to help you learn and perfect the techniques.
Hypnobirthing Techniques include:
Breathing Techniques — Slow your breath, keep your body relaxed, and release tension with each exhale.
Visualisations — Picture your body opening gently, or imagine waves during each surge. It keeps your mind focused and calm.
Relaxation Audios — Listening to guided relaxations helps your body release fear and tension.
The key is to practise. Like any skill, the more you do it, the easier you’ll find it.
4. Make Sure Your Birth Partner is Informed
Your birth partner plays a huge role. If they understand what’s happening, they can help keep the space calm and advocate for your choices.
I often refer to the birth partner as “the keeper of the cave”, because they will be the one protecting your birth space.
Here’s what they should know:
Your birth plan and what’s important to you
How to support you during contractions
Breathing techniques so they can help you stay focused
What to say (and what not to say) to keep you grounded
Their energy is one of the biggest factors in keeping you calm and focused during birth. If your partner panics, you will pick up on that energy.
When they are informed and confident, you feel that too.
The Power of Preparation
I didn’t get lucky with my second birth. I got prepared.
Yes, I planned a home birth and that was exactly what happened. But I spent my second pregnancy getting informed and planning for every birth scenario. So I could relax knowing that whatever path my birth journey took, I’d be ready for it.
Learning about your body, your rights, Hypnobirthing techniques, and involving your birth partner are all things you can start doing now.
A positive birth is possible for everybody. You just need the right tools.
Want to Start Your Positive Birth Journey?
I teach Hypnobirthing courses and Pregnancy Relaxation classes in Berwick-upon-Tweed in Northumberland.
I also have an online course called The Hypnobirthing Tool Kit, which is currently helping women all over the world get prepared for their positive births. In 2024 the Hypnobirthing Tool Kit won the Mama Baby Tots Editors Choice Award for Best Pre-Birth Content for New Mums.
I also have a popular podcast called The Belle Mama Hypnobirthing and Positive Birth Podcast which is available on all major podcast platforms.
Plus I give out daily tips, advice and birth inspiration on my instagram channel @bellemamahypnobirthing
Whether you’re planning a home birth, a hospital birth, or you’re still exploring your options, I can help you feel informed, prepared, and confident.
About The Author:
Ellie Waddington is a Hypnobirthing teacher based in Northumberland. After experiencing the incredible difference Hypnobirthing made during her second birth, she became passionate about supporting other women to feel informed and empowered during pregnancy and birth. Through her classes, online workshops, and community support, she helps women achieve calm, positive birth experiences — no matter the setting.